Here be monsters .....

A long while ago, when the nights did not draw in so early and there was still a little warmth in the autumn air,  Northern Man and I went to Rome for a few days.  We did all the usual things:  side-stepped the ubiquitous umbrella salesmen, stood in inconvenient places to read the guide book, stared at ruins with no real idea what they were, guessed which wine to drink from the extensive lists and ate pizza.  We also, and this is not in the guide books, went monster hunting.  Here are a just a few....

... and my particular favourite ...

So, my head filled with the idea of mythical beasts, I decided to have another go at a dragon.  Here he is ...

And, when he gets tired of hunting princesses, he can sit down for a rest ...

Youngest Child said 'Can I have a guineau pig for Christmas?' and I said 'A turkey is generally considered more traditional'..

... well, it is panto season.

I thought I'd share this email with you.

HEALTH & SAFETY AND EQUALITY CONSIDERATIONS FOR CHRISTMAS

The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:

Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur and for ethical reasons. Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative. Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.

Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around

The union of Shepherds has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via CCTV cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the Angel of the Lord is reminded that before shining his/her glory all around s /he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, it will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions – including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.

Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load

The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period.
Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles.
The donkey has expressed being offended at being labeled 'little'. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.

We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star

Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipient's name or perhaps give a gift voucher. We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC route finder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Face masks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels' hooves.

Away in a Manger No Crib for a bed

This is definitely one for Social Services.

Now a little bit of Christmas crafting.  I've been meaning to have a go at knitting a robin for some time now.  I started out with some roosting doves which gave the shape (more or less) that I was after.  Here they are warming themselves in the hearth ....

... and then added the colours .....

MERRY CHRISTMAS and a very Happy New Year to you all.
 

But at my back I always hear, Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near

Christmas is on its way again.  It's amazing how each year it charges up to me from the front undisguised, blatantly flaunting its lights, tinsel, music and tv specials, and I don't see it!  It's a fixed point in the calendar, immovable as middle-aged stomach fat.  And despite all this warning, I never feel ready for it.  Partly, this is a reluctance to make up my mind about buying presents:  I see a potential gift but don't buy it because I may find something I like more, and then panic because that particular part of my present list isn't crossed off.  I wonder if there's a self-help book I could get hold of or a class I could attend?  That would make a good present from someone .....

I have been doing a little painting ....

and knitting ....

and more crochet .....

It's not surprising I don't have time to think about Christmas presents.

Spam and word verification ....

Apologies to anyone wanting to leave a comment over the next few weeks but I am being hit by spam comments and have temporarily turned the word verification back on.  I'll take it off when the spammers get bored, which shouldn't be too long!

Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed ....

I was inspired recently when I saw some wonderfully colourful footstools, rugs and cushions covered in Irish crochet roses.  I could do that, I thought, so I did.  They were very time-consuming to do, even if the repetitive action of making the roses was strangely soothing, so I don't think this is going to become something I do regularly.

Now, I'm sorry, but I shall mention the 'C' word.  It's time to turn my attention to the painting that needs to be done for the up-coming Christmas craft fairs I've booked. 

Oh, to be at Shepton now October's there .....

But I am not at Shepton Mallet Flea Market this weekend having a good time sharing a stall with my mother which is what I would like to have been doing.  I at home because the aged parents are tripping the light fantastic for a whole month in Spain, drinking coffee, sipping Sangria, testing the elasticity of an M&S trouser waist band and generally having a good time not worrying about my inheritance.  The irresponsiblity of the elderly!

So instead I have been doing the rounds of the tail-end of the car boot sales and here are my findings ...

Lovely china tea sets ...

Chinese silk embroidered pictures and a painted glass vase ...

Pretty vintage prints and a full size artificial dove - classy or what?

And these lovely bangles all of which I shall be keeping for myself.

The Vintage Bazaar at Hartley Wintney ....

I have had a very frustrating week with no internet and no 'phone but we are, once again, in the land of the telephonically connected and I can update this blog.  I wanted to put on photos of the things I'm taking to the Vintage Bazaar at Hartley Wintney tomorrow - better late than never ....

... pretties on a pink theme ....

I just love this chocolate box:  a crinoline lady done in ruched ribbon with embroidered flowers!

And things on a theme of green ...

Wooden dogs ...

Wooden people ...

... and carved lumps of wood.  Now I just have to get it all in the Yeti.

During the summer holidays my mind was doing its usual flightly flitting from project to project, unable to settle, like an unshriven soul.  The result is the next clutch of knitted birds which hatched over the summer holidays. We are lucky enough to live within a flea hop of the Thames and often spend a weekend afternoon strolling along the tow path so the inspiration here is water fowl ...

The knitted swan now has a signet.

A knitted sitting duck.

And a knitted flying duck.  Be careful how you say that.

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan, A stately pleasure-dome decree ...

We revisited Sintra this summer, Northern Man, Big Girl, Youngest Child and myself.  Only Son stayed at home to cat-sit and plant-water.  Sintra is a left over from the days when Portugal had royalty who didn't like to get too hot in summer and headed for the nearest hills to cool off followed, only naturally, by anyone else with money or a title.  The result is a town filled with castles, palaces and villas some of which are open to gawpers and many of which are now very nice hotels or private homes.

My favourite is Qunita da Regaleira located just up the hill from the town centre where there are an abundance of follies and fantasy buildings set on a wooded hillside.  Trying to describe it would be impossible so here are the photos ......

Then there's the house itself ....

And inside ....

There is also a Moorish castle perched high on a hill above the town.  It is built around the huge boulders that litter the site ....

That's the royal palace seen from the castle.  The things that look like oast houses sticking out from the top are actually chimneys.
On the neighbouring hilltop is the Pena Palace. Again, words fail me ...

I wasn't allowed to take any photos inside Pena but it is beautifully furnished.

A short way away from Sintra is Monserrate where parts of the gardens have been maturing for several hundred years.  When we last visited the house was not open but it is now being restored and is a joy.  I cannot show you photos as I stupidly forgot the camera.

I hope your summer holidays were as filled with lovely memories as mine.

Started early, took the road north ....

Last week Northern Man and I went to the Yorkshire Dales for a short visit.  It's an area that he knows from his youth and he wanted to reaquaint himself with it.  On the way we stopped in the charming Knaresborough ...

which I'd recommend if you pass that way.

We had booked a hotel in Reeth, the Burgoyne, which overlooks the green ....

There was no need for a television, an ipad or a book as there was so much people-watching to be done.  We did lots of walking ...

including a trek up Fremington Edge which I foolishly allowed myself to be talked into ....

and went through dozens of these which are called squeeze gates. It is a beautiful part of the country and, as you can see, the weather was kind to us again.

On the way back we stopped at Jervaulx Abbey ....

I have never been to Ninfa in Italy although it is on my list of places to see before I settle for an armchair, slippers and cocoa.  Jervaulx is what could probably be described as Ninfa-esque - the ruins are planted with flowers and shrubs and grass covers what would have been the floors and pavements.  It is a beautiful and peaceful place.

Now to the buys for this week ...

... a huge embroidered picture with a touch of Arthur Rackham about it,  several pieces of lovely Victorian handmade lace and some oriental-style vintage boxes.